Second Time’s the Charm

When I was pregnant with Little Chef my prenatal appointments were fairly standard.  I would leisurely arrive at the low risk clinic 15 minutes early, well rested and with a belly full of nutritious food.  And sit patiently in the waiting room and read pregnancy magazines and look with a touch of pity at the large women with swollen feet and tired eyes telling their toddler “Don’t touch that, don’t put that in your mouth, and DON’T choke your brother in public.”  I knew in the back of my mind the second would be more difficult, but like anything with parenting I had no F&$%ing idea until I actually got there.  Like this morning.

It started as a normal morning; Little Chef was up as he always is as soon the door clicks shut when my husband leaves for work {how does he know??} and we started off with the “cheerios and a glass of milk” ritual that we always do.  Except this morning he did not want his cheerios and milk, he wanted to throw them at the dog and grab his shoes and demand to go outside in the frosty cold morning and see his ponies.  Worst mommy ever said “no, you sit and eat your cheerios and milk damnit so I can pee and brush my teeth without having an audience”.  Then there was the epic structure fire in the construction site at promptly 7:14 am that required not only both play firetrucks, many hard hats and the dog as backup assist, but he also needed daddy’s fire belt on.  Much excitement here this morning.  Somehow in the mess of this morning between the blessed state of sleep and coffee I did not pay attention to the clock.  And realized it was 8:30 am and I had a prenatal appointment in town at 9:00am.

I jumped up and started racing around the house trying to pull on clothes and put my hair in a ponytail {my brush had been stashed by a little bugger someplace so no time for that} and Little Chef running behind me laughing and enjoying this exciting new game.  4 minutes later I was dressed, he had a coat and shoes and hat on and was trucking out the door towards the Jeep.  I realized halfway out the door that the car seat was not installed, as it had been in my husband’s truck the night before so I lugged it out to the vehicle as Little Chef made a break for it with the dog to the pony pen.  I strapped in the car seat, ran back, tied up the dog, grabbed Little Chef with much protest from his task of feeding ponies some morning hay and hauled him kicking and screaming to the Jeep.  Got it, in the Jeep, ready to go.  NO keys.  Back in to the house rip the place apart, find keys in toy box.  Back to Jeep, start Jeep pull out of driveway, BING low fuel light; 35 km from town.  F%$&.  5 minutes in to the drive realize Little Chef is reaching and squawking for something that is not there.  Something very important… bunny.  No, no we are not turning around for it.  If mommy can survive without sleep, and pedicures, and leisure time you can survive without bunny for one day.  Riley the Race car will have to just substitute for now.  10 minutes later I realize that I should have just turned around because if I hear “Hi I’m Riley riding on my race car, let’s be a star!” one more time I may just drive off the next cliff and call it a day.  Breathe.  Come over the hill only 10 km from town and the gas station and what is that in my path?  A happy looking dude in a high visibility vest with a stop sign beside a truck that says “House Moving”.  You have got to be kidding me.  Really?  So we wait.  For ever.  A well-meaning FedEx guy parked behind us comes up to the window and tries to be chatty and nice and I just stared at him with the “Do not be chatty and nice right now you will deeply regret it.” look and roll up the window.  I am friendly like that.  House finally passes {Little Chef pointing and saying “Wow, wow, wow” over and over again, at least someone enjoyed it.  Maybe cheerful FedEx guy enjoyed it too.}

Waiting for the house to go by.. wow!
Waiting for the house to go by.. wow!

Back on the road, pull in to the appointment only 13 minutes late.  Not bad.  Because we were late we got to go right in and see the midwife.  Little Chef was very excited to hear the baby’s heartbeat, and afterwards she let him lay down on the table and hear his own heartbeat with the Doppler.  He already thinks he has a baby in his tummy too, why not keep that going?  As she lifted up his shirt to hear his heart I see he is still wearing daddy’s fire belt wrapped twice around his fat little belly.  Sigh.  You know I used to judge people whose children walked around in the strangest assortment of clothes.  But now, now I get it.  He had a coat and shoes on, so what if he was also rocking a belt meant for a grown man?  Let it go.

Rocking dad's FFD fire belt like a champ.
Rocking dad’s FFD fire belt like a champ.

So yes, being pregnant with the second is different.  And crazy at times.  But I am also an old expert at this by now.  I was able to choose a midwife this time, and avoid the entire “doctors who tell you what to do” and the laundry list of things to be afraid of entirely.  I also am far less worried about each little thing.  I am taking the stress-less approach this time and it’s been amazing.  We skipped the fear mongering 12 week ultrasound with its sketchy “results”, and my midwife has assured me I don’t have to be weighed at all this time.  I know how to grow and birth babies and I am free to do so.  Much more my style.  I also have a giant belly at 15 weeks and have been asked more than once “You sure you got only one in there?”.  Let em talk.  Next time I get that comment I will ask them how many love goblins they are hiding in their fat ass.  See how that goes.  {Told you I was friendly}

– Stephanie

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6 Comment

  1. Reblogged this on Chef james parker.

  2. Reblogged this on Chef james parker.

  3. Hi Stephanie! I hope you’re having a happy Monday, I just dropped by to tell you I nominated you for the Blogger Recognition Award. You can check out the details here, 🙂

    1. Thank you so much! This is wonderful!

  4. Hi Stephanie! I hope you’re having a happy Monday, I just dropped by to tell you I nominated you for the Blogger Recognition Award. You can check out the details here, 🙂

    1. Thank you so much! This is wonderful!

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