Last days as a duo

Today I am really feeling nostalgic for my last days as a mother of one.  Maybe it’s because Little Chef has been the vision of happy perfection today {I better not jinx myself and he ends up a terror this afternoon}, or maybe it’s my due date with #2 fast approaching, but I feel like our special moments just the two of us are about to be lost and gone forever.  This morning he woke up in his usual way saying “Oh Mama!” in his hilarious singsong voice and as soon as I walked {No, let’s be honest, I waddled} in he grinned at me and said “Mommy Cheeios!” as if I would in fact forget as his primary caregiver what he eats for breakfast every morning.  We sat and ate our breakfast and he chatted in half toddler language half English about all manner of things and it was just so peaceful and lovely.  After breakfast he put on his boots and coat and went out to play and after cleaning up I joined him and we fed the ponies and went for a walk and it was just lovely.  {Except the part where I accidental tipped him out of the wagon twice… oops}

Little Chef running.jpg

I guess it is just dawning on me that soon it won’t be just us doing our days together.  And when he chants “Oh Mama” in the morning I may be changing a newborn blow-out, or nursing the baby or wiping puke off my sweater.  And that seems scary and not very fun right at this moment.  Not just because it will be more work, but because it wont be just him and I.  He has been my only baby his whole life and that’s going to be a huge change for both of us.  And that fact is making me ugly cry all over the place right now.  He won’t even remember the days of just us.  Reading “Even Fire Fighter’s go to the Potty” a million times in an afternoon, or feeding ponies and digging in the mulch, or making cookies just because we can.

Little Chef kissing the belly.jpg

{And pause because now I’m bawling}

So Little Chef, maybe someday we will talk about how much fun we had just us, and I will tell you about it and somehow you will remember, or your little mind will make up the memories from the stories I tell you.  Or maybe I’m being hysterical for nothing and you will be so happy to have a baby that you won’t feel like you wished that we had this time back.  But I will always remember it.  And cherish it.  I know I will love your little baby sibling with as much crazy mommy ferocity as I love you, but you will always be my first.  The little bundle that made me a mommy, the little boy who stole me heart and made it into a pile of mush.  Your sweet baby smile and the way you say “I uvv you!” as you march out the door to play.

Little Chef kissing the baby CF.jpg

Baby Blueberry I am impatient to meet you {And not feel like a whale any-more}, but for just today I’m going to really enjoy the fact that you are tucked up tight in my belly still and hug the crap out of your beautiful brother and kiss his squishy little belly until he giggles and make cookies and have afternoon baths.

looking at the belly CF.jpg

Because soon we will be a family of 4.  And life will be so different.  And still so sweet and lovely, just in a a different way.

-Stephanie

ps.  All of the photographs were taken by my amazing and talented best friend Amber, check out her photography page HERE

12 Comment

  1. Lana says: Reply

    Beautiful! Thanks for making me ugly cry at work.

    1. Haha sorry!

  2. Lana says: Reply

    Beautiful! Thanks for making me ugly cry at work.

    1. Haha sorry!

  3. Donna Forster says: Reply

    What a beautifully tender inflection Steph !
    I wish you all the best in these last days before the new arrival! Praying for a safe labor and delivery and postpartum! Love you

    1. Thank you so much!

  4. Donna Forster says: Reply

    What a beautifully tender inflection Steph !
    I wish you all the best in these last days before the new arrival! Praying for a safe labor and delivery and postpartum! Love you

    1. Thank you so much!

  5. Wendy Parker says: Reply

    OK now I’m bawling. I’ll watch baby Blueberry so you can still here those special times with just you and John.

    1. Aww! Thank you!

  6. Wendy Parker says: Reply

    OK now I’m bawling. I’ll watch baby Blueberry so you can still here those special times with just you and John.

    1. Aww! Thank you!

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