To the New Mom

I had a friend message me yesterday evening as I was trying to get my baby to sleep that she had a new mom who needed some advice.  Not a new mom that I know, but a friend of a friend who just needed some kind words.  It made me realise that there are too many mom’s out there, new or seasoned that don’t have the support they need.  So I have decided to not just keep these words to myself.  This is for all the mom’s who need it.

Hi Momma,

I know this part is hard.

I know that it seems like your baby is being awful to spite you.  I know how hard it is when people say “Oh you must feel so in love” when you are just too tired to feel the love.  I have been where you are.  I know the crushing weight of this new life.  But I also know there is a light at the end of this tunnel.  It may not be a huge revelation moment, it may be gradual.  One day you may wake up and think back to yesterday and have more happy moments than hard ones.

Know you are not alone.  Know you are not the only mother who has had dark thoughts.  Know that you are stronger than you know.  I have had times when I was shaking and crying along with my baby wishing she would sleep.  Wishing she would latch.  Wishing I had my old life back.  But nothing compares with what you are doing.  No one can replace you to that babe and it’s a huge weight but also a huge blessing.  You can do this.  You are braver than you know and stronger than you believe.

Motherhood takes all of your senses and stretches and pulls them.  It warps your view of reality.  And it should.  Your life will never be the same.  And that’s a good thing.  That little baby you are holding needs so much of you that you may not feel like you have any of yourself left.  It will come back.  But not in the same way.  In a better way.  Like a dish cooked, seasoned, and plated, we are more than the sum of our ingredients and experiences.  We are mothers.  Mother’s who are changed and will change.

So try to see the sunshine through the clouds.  Call a friend.  Let someone in, and let them help.

You can do this.  I know you can.  I know you can because I did it.  I am still doing it.  I wake each morning and I continue.  And it’s the biggest blessing of my life.

We are all in this together Momma’s.  Let’s support each other.

-Stephanie